Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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