How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize