i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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