My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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