just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
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i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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