What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
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Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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