I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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