On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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