i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
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We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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