I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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