the condom got lost in my hair
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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