i was born a porn star she said
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
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No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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