you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize