They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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