glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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