Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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