My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize