Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
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I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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