were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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