you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize