this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize