imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just blew my weed a kiss
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize