Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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