you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize