Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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