rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize