Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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