so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
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My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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