I wanna bring you to show and tell
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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