You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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