The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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