then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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