Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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