Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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