i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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