There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize