the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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