Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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