Tell her she can't have a vagina
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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