Life is so much better after having sex.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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