Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize