My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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