Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize