i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
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its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
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You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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