That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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