Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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