So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize