I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize