if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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