tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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