Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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