Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
not ubering you a puppy
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